Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
