no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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