After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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