My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
