it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
