Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
