Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
