3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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