Got a toothbrush?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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