No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
