1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
