Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
