Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
