I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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