His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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