her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
