i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
