Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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