Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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