I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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