I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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