I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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