bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
