The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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