yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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I need a beard to bite.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You are a genius and a whore.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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