his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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