Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
