am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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