So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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