Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
