Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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