Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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