I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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