one two three fourrrrnication!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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