thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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