Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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