Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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