Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
too bad you live with your parents still
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
