i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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