You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am naked and annoyed.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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