do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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