You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
