Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
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We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.