i just google imaged poop.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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