So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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