you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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