Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!