Having a random hookup so left but love u
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt