good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
