so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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