I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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