my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
