Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
