i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My feet surprised me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
