We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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