yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
