I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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