I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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