Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
