apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
