the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
