oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
