You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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