i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
where am i from again
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
