I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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