he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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