why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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